Light
I play this song ~ “Anthem” by Leonard Cohen [Recorded by P. Batalla and J. Christensen]. On Leonard Cohen: I’m your man, 2005 ~ over and over on my ipod down by the Skeena River. Each time I hear it I feel a surge of emotional energy pouring through me and releasing me of all the years I believed that I had to be perfect...
I had to measure up to insurmountable expectations, which never allowed me to accept myself as I am.
Always striving to be better and never being able to accept anything less than..
less than ...what?
There is a crack in everything.
I hear the pitter patter of the rain on the leaves and feel a gush of wind as a rain cloud moves overhead. I think the sound is someone coming on their bike, but it is the wind moving past me and through me...
and it is still again.
“One of our greatest friends on this journey of discovery is a very strange ally - disturbance. It feels important to me to highlight disturbance's role as a friend because I have come to see certainty as a curse. This was not a realization that came easily to me. I, like most of you, was raised in the traditions of Western schooling. Knowing the right answer was always rewarded. Intelligence was equated with how well I did on tests, and most tests were about knowing the right answer. Later, as a leader, I was promoted for my certainty -
I had the vision, I knew how to get there, and people would follow me based on how well I radiated that certainty, how well I disguised my fears” (Wheatley, 2000).
